RLM vs. Geezer Teasers
If, in recent years, you’ve been on Netflix, walked past a Redbox kiosk, or aimlessly searched latest movie releases on VOD, you probably have noticed a preponderance of Bruce Willis movies. Or maybe you noticed a bunch with 50 Cent, or Steven Seagal, or others that suggest these actors are tirelessly working to churn out title after title seemingly every month. Turns out, it’s all part of an (*alleged*) scam of some sorts. In a March 31 post on Vulture from last year (2021), writer Joshua Hunt figured out the people behind this glut of movies and how their system works. The piece, titled “The King of the Geezer Teasers”, is filled with posters that have certainly struck your eyes as you quickly scrolled, even if you can’t quite remember them or even tell some of them apart “is it the movie with Chad Michael Murray & Bruce Willis or…this other one with Chad Michael Murray & Bruce Willis?…or…”
It all points to a not-so-secret cabal headed up by Randall Emmett who works with various financiers to produce and distribute films made with not a lot of money but anchored around the name recognition of a various movie stars whose fame may have faded over the years. As Hunt writes:
I first heard of Emmett last September, while speaking with Adam Champ, an executive at Daro Film Distribution in Monaco. From his office in Côte d’Azur’s sun-drenched tax haven, Champ explained an inglorious but profitable slice of the film industry that is built around a certain category of actor — the kind of action stars and leading men who once ruled Hollywood and now make very good money appearing in very bad movies, most of them relegated to streaming services, video on demand (VOD), and late-night television in Europe and South America.
It’s Champ who gives the name to this type of movie—“geezer teasers”. Even though Hunt’s article came out over a year ago, it seems to have finally pierced through the popular conscious in multiple ways, being able to label this phenomenon that we all experience and secretly wonder about.
For one instance, The Razzies created a brand new category just to highlight how many terrible movies Bruce Willis made in this vein in 2021 alone (the answer is eight, by the way). Make no mistake, The Razzies are still awful and stupid; not because they mock movies or draw attention to bad ones, that’s whatever.
The Razzies’ greatest sins is in its self-satisfaction while always going for obvious and easy targets that shows no real imagination, wit, or even knowledge of cinema itself. Still, this brand new category does add to the spotlight on Emmett’s biggest stud in the stable, Bruce Willis.
Another place you can see this topic dissected is in the excellent video put out by Red Letter Media. Willis had 11 movies come out in 2020 and 2021 (combined) that are exclusively part of this model of using a former big box office draw, paying them a huge amount of the budget for very little time working, and then basically cutting all other corners, and then everyone acts like it’s not a weird tax scam/possible money laundering scheme. Step 3: Profit!
In their usual hilarious style, Mike Stoklasa and Jay Bauman (and Rich Evans) dissect this whole operation before looking at some specific offerings from Emmett’s system of garbage, complete with a lot of terrible filmmaking that is indicative of Willis’ no longer caring, priority of the producers, and the rest of the cast and crew seemingly trying their best with the scraps they are given. It’s…pretty sad, honestly. But also funny? Mostly because it’s mocking these swindlers and how their show business puts the “show” at the lowest rung of the ladder of importance. RLM also discusses how these “geezer teasers” both continue a certain element of exploitation/knock-off cinema that’s been around for 70+ years but does so with much less artistry or finesse than what has come before.
(Quick aside just because it blew my mind: MOONRISE KINGDOM turns 10 this year and GLASS was just three years ago. That’s a steep decline for the once engaging performer.)
Enjoy the video as it’s a lot of fun and oddly informative. Be sure to subscribe to Red Letter Media’s YouTube Channel, support their Patreon if you are able, and please follow their antics on Twitter.