7 Original Cuts of Films We Want To See
With Warner Bros.’ recent concession to release The Snyder Cut of JUSTICE LEAGUE, there has been a renewed call for bringing back alternate versions of movies that have notoriously been altered by the filmmakers or studios. Sometimes that restoration is a revelation, like BLADE RUNNER’s various versions. Other times, the these alternate takes of films can be actually inferior to what was originally released (looking at you DONNIE DARKO: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT).
With this clamor for revisiting differing versions, here are seven titles that would be great to get back in their original form. Some of them can never be resurrected—due to lost film negatives, rights issues, and many more obstacles. But if someone can find a way to bring them back - it may be something to behold.
Quick note: I’m not calling them “Director’s Cuts” because sometimes it was the director that edited down the film to the final release, or other times it would be a particular studio that would want to insert additional scenes and storylines, or maybe the director is okay with how the project came out in the end—cut spools of film be damned.
7. THE THING (2011)
It’s unlikely that there’s anything to do to salvage much of 2011’s THE THING. The prequel (but also kind of a reboot sequel?) to the 1982 John Carpenter film wasn’t especially awful. It had a pretty good performances by Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Joel Edgerton, for example. It’s just that it didn’t feel like a story worth telling, at least not the way it was told. It’s essentially a repeat of that 1982 story structure instead of a different and terrifying circumstance that could have been explored in that Norwegian camp.
But one thing that certainly made the movie much harder to watch was the pretty lousy CGI that was used. To be fair to the director and the F/X teams involved, the film was never originally meant to have that much CG. Sure there was going to be some here and there, but director Matthias van Heijningen Jr always wanted to use mostly practical effects like what Rob Bottin did in 1982, this time with Amalgamated Dynamics handling the grotesque mutations and transformations (as seen above). The prosthetics, make-up, animatronics, and other effects were almost all built and many of them were actually used in the scenes when shooting…but then the studio replaced it with CGI that was rushed due to the late decision and thus doesn’t look good, even by standards of 10 years ago.
While it wouldn’t patch up the lack of an innovative story, bringing back these awesome F/X would at least make it more visually engaging.
6. ANNIE HALL (1977)
LET ME EXPLAIN!!!!
Firstly, Woody Allen is a monster. He has created good films but that is not a trade off for the kind of beast he is nor should his crimes be forgotten, even if he is never indicted for them.
Secondly, ANNIE HALL is still a good movie. Like most of Allen’s movies, it has creepy foreshadowing of the type of person he is that plays like a joke in a movie but takes on more sinister vibes in real life (this is also true of Louis C.K., whose act was he thinks terrible things but keeps it inside as he tries to be a good normal person like the rest of us). But the 1977 romantic dramedy still has incredibly inventive comedy bits, strong insights into relationships, and lots of fun early appearances by many actors (and Christopher Walken has a great scene).
As has been documented many, many times over—ANNIE HALL was never meant to be even close to what the finished product ended up being. Originally titled ANHEDONIA, the film was more of an overview of a man’s life, looking at his various relationships, neuroses (in a Woody Allen movie? shocking!), fantasies, dreams, and also some odd subplots about a dead neighbor, a visit to Hell, and more. But the pieces that worked best were the parts where Allen worked with Diane Keaton as the titular role, so it was all retooled, many reshoots, and edited into the movie we know today. It’s like if HIGH FIDELITY just became about the relationship between John Cusack and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Mass hysteria!
So why should this version be released and keep Allen’s name in the zeitgeist? For two reasons:
It would be fascinating to see what was pulled out and left in and how the filmmakers worked around aspects to create the released version.
To see how many of these scenes and subplots that Allen reused in his films. The trip to Hell? Yeah, that’s in DECONSTRUCTING HARRY. The dead neighbor? Yup, you guessed it: MANHATTAN MURDER MYSTERY. Releasing this original vision wouldn’t just reveal what went into making ANNIE HALL, but also how Woody Allen has been coasting on a bunch of his ideas since 1977. J’accuse!
…I mean, we all accuse him of being a heinous monster, so just add this to the pile.
5. FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART VII - THE NEW BLOOD (1988)
The MPAA haaaaated horror movies in the ‘80s (still mostly do, in fact); and the sub-genre of horror that received the most scorn was the slasher film. Maybe because the movies usually included teenagers doing drugs, drinking, having sex, and being horrifically butchered. Or maybe because, early on in the mini-boom of ‘80s slashers, there were mass protests by concerned parents over titles like SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT. Siskel & Ebert railed against slashers and constantly derided them as being actively harmful to society, as did many televangelists and other scolds. This culture war put the films under great scrutiny and usually ended up rending the films to shreds with extensive cuts to trim down sex, violence, the amount of blood on screen and more.
One title that suffered terribly from the MPAA’s draconian purge was 1988’s FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART VII - THE NEW BLOOD, a.k.a. the one where Jason fights Carrie. The late F/X guru John Carl Buechler was eager to direct the seventh installment of the horror institution. His desire was based partially on the chance to get more directing work as the FRIDAY THE 13TH films tended to be very lucrative for Paramount. But also because he saw it as an opportunity to take his insight and imagination with F/X and apply it to some incredibly inventive kills. Unfortunate, those innovations were also hacked apart like so much horny teenager rendering a bunch of movie mildly confusing and constantly feeling like it’s pulling punches.
As can be seen in the preserved footage above, it wouldn’t have turned THE NEW BLOOD into an Oscar contender, but it would have been even more fun and raucous for generations of horror fans. Since Scream Factory is pretty good at tracking down all possible footage to use in their releases, and couldn’t find any worth salvaging for their FRIDAY THE 13TH boxed set, it’s unlikely these splatterific parts will ever be reintegrated into the film. Alack, alas.
4. DISTURBING BEHAVIOR (1998)
I unabashedly love DISTURBING BEHAVIOR. It’s not based on nostalgia (I saw it in theaters at age 16), or a crush on late ‘90s Katie Holmes, or love of Nick Stahl, or even a fondness for Harvey Danger’s “Flagpole Sitta”. I think it’s a pretty clever retelling of THE STEPFORD WIVES plus INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, with pinches of MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH and DANGEROUSLY CLOSE. It’s like an angsty horror precursor to MEAN GIRLS…so HEATHERS, but with mind control. And people acting like “razor” is real slang that teens use.
What I didn’t know was how much the studio interfered with director David Nutter’s film. I knew it had deleted scenes and an alternate ending (truthfully I prefer the theatrical one), but I was completely unaware of the extent of alterations. Until Cecil Trachenburg—who runs one of my favorite YouTube channels, Good Bad Flicks—covered it in an installment of his “Exploring…” series. The video (below) was alarming with not only how much was changed, but the reasoning behind it, and how many times Nutter had to keep coming back with disfigured versions of his movie.
With the exception of the ending, these additions would flesh out the world of DISTURBING BEHAVIOR even more, give more gravitas to the brother’s suicide, and increase the menace of the Blue Ribbons. Again, Scream Factory put out a disc of DISTURBING BEHAVIOR and it wasn’t able to add those scenes to back in or create a different cut, so it’s unlikely fans will ever get this original version. Sigh. Alexa, play “Got You Where I Want You”.
3. THE APPLE (1980)
Speaking of unabashedly loving stuff that most look down upon, 1980’s THE APPLE! Menahem Golan (of Golan-Globus/Cannon Films) directs this pseudo biblical allegory that also involves a dystopian future where corporate monopolies control entertainment and news organizations that helps them pressure governments while forcing conformity with brand loyalty. What a silly piece of schlock!
Okay, to be fair—it’s an insanely gaudy musical with a fairly poorly constructed plot and a bunch of….less than great songs (I still think the choreography mostly holds up, though). I first sought it out as a “so bad, it’s good” movie but have watched it so much that I just enjoy it. It’s weirdly nonsensical in parts, the costumes are cheap but in a fun C-movie STAR WARS knock off way, and the Berlin filming locations are a nice contrast to the brightly colored characters and dramatic musical numbers. Also the Rifftrax version is hilarious.
One of my favorite things about the film is that the ending makes sense, but is utterly unearned.
(SPOILERS FOR A 40-YEAR OLD MOVIE AHEAD)
As it appears the devil, here named Mr. Boogalow (Vladek Sheybal), is set to win the day by having all the poor people sent to prison (oh such nonsense fluff, right?), suddenly God appears. Well, a man they call Mr. Top (Joss Ackland) descends from the heavens after pulling up in a celestial Rolls Royce. Right before his appearance, the Adam-analogue says he knows “Mr. Top” will show up.
MR. TOP HAS NEVER BEEN MENTIONED BEFORE THIS MOMENT. It’s roughly 7 minutes before the end of the movie, and suddenly there’s this whole mythos about some paunchy god in a white tuxedo and luxury car? Check him out:
Weird, right? Well, the original script had the opening of the movie not be some Eurovision knock-off, but instead was some cosmic version of Eden where Mr. Top is hanging out and there’s a bunch of animals all around. Unfortunately, true to Golan form, it’s likely that the director/producer played it cheap because the animals—including a tiger—were not well behaved and kept trying to attack the cast and crew. Some footage remains of that infamous opening and has been shown here and there, but mostly it’s disappeared to the ages. I mean, as it is, this deus ex Lincoln Town Car is a pretty fun bizarre twist, but it would still be nice to see the deranged opening and all of the actors trying to hide how terrified they are of the maneaters.
2. THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS (1996)
I hated THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS the first time I saw it. I was biased as I did (and still do) really love 1994’s THE CROW (and James O’Barr’s comics). It seemed like this could be a good franchise that inserted weird mysticism, gothic grandiosity, cool music, and fun ultraviolence into multiple tales of vengeance. But then I watched CITY OF ANGELS and was baffled. Barely any of it made sense. There were some cool moments, characters, and images…but too much felt like a retread and there was no real depth to the pain of anyone.
And then along comes Cecil Trachenburg and his phenomenal Good Bad Flicks video again revealing how the theatrical release was a patchwork of mediocrity that ripped out a bunch of the plot, heart, and much needed strangeness to create a thoroughly disappointing film.
There was a bunch of extended lore thrown in, some really beautiful sequences that added to the dream like quality of the near post-apocalyptic world that director Tim Pope had created, a lot more character work, and just a bunch of stuff that maybe wouldn’t have been good, but at least would have made THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS feel unique and daring. It’s always better to be overly ambitious in art and falter, then to go middle of the road and be derided and forgotten.
1. THE PREDATOR (2018)
I was really looking forward to 2018’s THE PREDATOR. It was written and directed by Shane Black, a filmmaker that has shown tremendous talent many times over. Hell, he was even in the original PREDATOR (and did script punch up while in the jungle with the crew). There was a great cast of character actors and some feints towards creating a more unified theory to the franchise, and the Predator always seems like a character with a lot of potential. The lesson? Never get your hopes up.
That’s not entirely fair. THE PREDATOR isn’t terrible (though the whole “people with autism are the next leap in human evolution” seems less than a good look), but it has such a rushed and odd third act plus a bunch of wonky CG in places. The ending, where the “gift” from the Predators is some kind of alien Iron Man suit smacked of a reshoot when another plan fell through (or someone got cold feet). And it was! But I wouldn’t learn for a long while that it was only one aspect that was drastically changed from script to production to post-production.
The original script had a lot more elements involving multiple Predators teaming up with the “Loonies” to take on all of the new UltraPredators. There was stuff about Area 51, some Predators that had tentacles and whatnot. The script is a bit of a mess, truthfully. There was a lot of test audience feedback, studio interference, and scenes had to be completely excised when it turned out one of the actors, a friend of Black’s, was a convicted sex offender who never disclosed that fact to his scene partners, including Olivia Munn. A lot of the original F/X weren’t finished, the final fight was relocated and reshot resulting in a bunch of sudden deaths of fairly important characters, and Edward James Olmos was cut from the film entirely. WHO CUTS OUT ADAMA?!?
The intended ending that most people suspected was, indeed, supposed to be Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger) that arrives as the “gift” from the Predators. Schwarzenegger thought the part was too small and instead chose to make…<squints>…TERMINATOR: DARK FATE? Huh. But they still wanted a bit of a stinger, one that would excite fans in order to stoke the fires of a franchise reborn. The solution? The “gift” is a time traveler from the future….named Newt Ripley. Yep. That Newt. She mostly comes from the future. Mostly.
Black has said that it would cost too much money to finish the F/X, reshoot scenes, and create his own true vision of THE PREDATOR. But if Warner Bros. can spend millions upon millions for Batman to say “I will fucking kill you”, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a revised THE PREDATOR where Trevante Rhodes rides a tank with an alien hunter in fishnets.