LISTMAS—5 Unconventional Horror Films To Wrap The Holidays
Not to bah humbug all over everyone’s respective winter celebratory gatherings, but there’s been more than enough stress this holiday season to make me a little less holly-jolly than I probably should be. And I suspect I’m not alone. So what to do, what to do? I seek solace in things that bring me all those good tidings of comfort and joy: horror movies. So if you’ve had your fill of A CHRISTMAS STORY and you already know that the big city heroine of Hallmark channel fare will fall in love with small-town-Joe and abandon her successful career because of Christmas magic or whatever…it might be time for something different. And I got you covered. Perhaps you’re in the market for carnage? Or supernatural scares? Or maybe you’d like some unresolved trauma that heralds more than the ghost of Christmas past?
Sure there’s your BLACK CHRISTMAS entries, or the always entertaining horror-comedy KRAMPUS. But I want to really stuff your stockings with something special. It’s unconventional. It’s irreverent. It’s a little Listmas with something for everybody.
So without further delay, I give you five of my favorite unexpected ho-ho-horror movies for some happy golden days of gore this holiday season:
THE CHILDREN (2008)
Casey the outcast teenager, her young step siblings, her mother Elaine and stepfather Jonah arrive at the prim estate of her Aunt Chloe and Uncle Robbie for winter holiday in this mean little British horror. Tensions brew beneath the surface as the apparent wealth of Aunt Chloe and Uncle Robbie and the differing parenting styles clash with Casey’s middle-class mother and step-father. With annoyingly rambunctious step-siblings and cousins running amok, Casey is charged with helping the adults mind the children. But it isn’t long before the tantrums and tears give way to full blown holiday homicide when an unknown virus infects the children, turning them into pint-sized killers.
WE’RE ALL GOING TO THE WORLD’S FAIR (2021)
Including Jane Schoenbrun’s indie critical darling on this list might seem as a bit of a cheat since the holiday season time setting is sort of incidental. But contrasting the supposed merriment of the season with the complete isolation of the main character only adds to the chill in the air. Impressionable and lonely, teenage YouTuber Casey decides to film herself taking the viral “World’s Fair Challenge” in the hopes of connecting with a supernatural experience online. What follows isn’t exactly the creepypasta horror you expect, but the coming-of-age tale makes it a standout choice. With unsettling images, possible implications of online predatory behavior, and a loneliness that’s palpable, there’s a lot to unpack from this character study. Is it definitively a horror movie? That’s for you to decide.
THE ADVENT CALENDAR (2021)
Writer/Director Patrick Ridremont may not have conjured the most original premise of holiday horrors, but this monkey’s paw plot has some fun with its horror, with interesting kills and a dash of black humor. Eva laments the loss of her dancing career since she was paralyzed by a car accident 3 years prior. She’s now working a dead-end office job with an abhorrent boss. She has little contact with her father who suffers from extreme Dementia. She has no romantic prospects and she spends her days in a depressive monotony. But all that begins to change after her best friend Sophie gifts her a mysterious wooden Advent calendar. You can probably guess that this will be an unforgettable December for Eva…
THE LODGE (2019)
This chilly psychological horror introduces a morally questionable relationship between Richard Hall, a separated but still married academic, and Grace (Riley Keough), one of his research subjects who is the sole survivor of a fundamentalist Christian cult’s mass suicide. When news of Richard’s plans to wed Grace shocks his estranged wife into taking her own life, the Hall children decide then and there that Grace is not welcome in their family. But six months later Richard insists they all spend Christmas together in his secluded Massachusetts lodge. When an unspecified work emergency calls Richard away, Grace tries to bond with the teenage Aiden and his younger sister Mia, but is given more than the cold shoulder. And it isn’t long before the trauma of Grace’s dark past threatens her sanity and the safety of all three. THE LODGE is an effective horror with a mesmerizing performance from Keough and a final act that really sticks the landing.
AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000)
Few movies mark the decadent yuppie ‘80s era of consumerism with such satirical flair. In an otherwise unknown season, an upscale Christmas party scene has the sartorially mindful psychopath Patrick Bateman (played to perfection by Christian Bale) donning reindeer antlers. But the cold New York City streets have never looked so far from festive, as this investment banking exec hacks and chops his way through an 102 minute runtime. But much like the original novel of same name by Bret Easton Ellis, Patrick Bateman is an unreliable narrator. Is he really chasing prostitutes with a chainsaw, or hacking his way through the boardroom to the sounds of Huey Lewis? And more importantly—does his reality even matter? By the time the ATM screen demands Bateman feed it a stray cat, we realize this may all be just one big crazed fantasy. All the (imagined?) violence—which was not without real world controversy upon the film’s release—may very well be the last uncrossed boundary in Bateman’s hedonistic life. Drinks, drugs, sex, homicide. Everything well-dressed and in excess.
Now how’s that for some holiday commentary? Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to return some videotapes.
