Ranking the Atlantis Crew from 1986’s SPACECAMP

Does anyone else have that experience where you didn’t realize that certain stuff that was popular in your house growing up was not at all popular anywhere else?

For me, there are two main areas of entertainment that were huge in the Dean household but I would later learn are considered either flops or relatively obscure. The first is the cinematic career of Shelley Long. For whatever reason—truly I cannot fathom it, they didn’t even watch her on Cheers or anything—my parents loved every movie that Shelley Long made. TROOP BEVERLY HILLS, HELLO AGAIN, OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE, and THE MONEY PIT were all videotapes we watched a lot in my house (MONEY PIT and BEVERLY HILLS still hold up BTW). I would later discover that her leaving Cheers was roundly seen as a bad career move and her film work was lesser—even though, to me, she was like literally one of the biggest mainstays of middling comic movies of the ‘80s.

The second thing that I did not know was seen as a failure due to how often we watched it at my house? SPACECAMP. To be fair to the 1986 movie, it wasn’t necessarily anything IT did that made it lose its favor with the public. The film was released in June 1986…six months after the space shuttle Challenger explosion. As the pandemic has shown, real world disasters can truly careen into movie release schedules and film plots in a way that couldn’t have been anticipated a few months out. The film that director Harry Miner and company delivered wasn’t meant to be met under a shroud of mourning as the glorious site of a shuttle launch reminded them of watching astronauts (including a teacher) die in a fiery burst six months prior. That really dampened enthusiasm for the franchise.

But despite its lackluster box office and embrace at the time, this story of a team of misfit teens (plus one adolescent, one adult, and a robot) who attend the real life Space Camp and then accidentally end up piloting a shuttle in space was a resounding hit with a young Rob Dean. For some reason (perhaps a residual side effect of STAR WARS or some soft revival of the space race with the Soviet Union via pop culture), there is a small sub-genre of kids going into space. SPACECAMP, EXPLORERS, FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR, THE LAST STARFIGHTER, and a few more all found America’s next generation literally reaching into the stars.

The film has gone on to (allegedly) inspire people to get into STEM and space exploration, as Lea Thompson told Will Harris of The A.V. Club, and the cast and crew were inducted into the “Space Camp Hall Of Fame” in 2016. But while the space shuttle Atlantis did loose its earthly restraints and return (spoiler) thanks to the work of all involved, let’s be honest—some members of the crew are a bit better than the others. So let’s rank which characters are the best.

[Note: This is about the characters, not the actors or anything else. Obviously, Beverly from HOWARD THE DUCK would rank higher while that JOKER would rank lower, we’re solely focusing on the characters in SPACECAMP itself.]

The Rankings

7. Jinx

Jinx isn’t technically part of the Atlantis crew as he is earthbound during their entire voyage. But it’s his actions that propel these unlikeliest of cosmonauts into the stratosphere. There’s jokes about how literal Jinx takes everything, the fact that he’s designed so poorly that he could never operate in space as originally intended, and that grating Frank Welker Go-Bots voice that drills into the brain, that all combine to make him the worse. In theory, Jinx should be like Data or Spock—the most intelligent and capable member who is also exploring how emotions work. Instead he’s more akin to the worst of Wesley Crusher and, I don’t know the TOS equivalent—those space hippies with the weird ears?

6. Andie

Oh Andie. Well you came and you yelled at some children, all because you weren’t chosen. Oh Andie.

Andie’s dream of going to space is, apparently, the main thematic arc of the movie, but she is initially thwarted by being passed over routinely for other astronauts to go into orbit. But then Andie basically turns her internalized misogyny against Kathryn and Tish, takes shit WAY too seriously, and exhibits PDA with her husband (Tom Skerritt) at the workplace. She also says the following to Kathryn, which is odd if you parse it: “The first time I saw you, I saw it in your eyes. It was like looking in a mirror. You’re special, Kathryn.” Gross, Andie.

5. Max

Ah yes, the Scrappy-Doo of SPACECAMP. The weird insistence on living in a Star Wars fantasy land amidst his normal socializing should probably disqualify Max from even getting within ten yards of NASA. I can’t imagine communications are improved by demanding the pilot “shut down all garbage mashers on the detention level.”

And he isn’t helped out that most of his lines are delivered in yells, whines, or slow motion (despite everything else around him occurring at normal speed). His sole contribution is to be smaller to get more oxygen tanks—but he’s too small to effectively pull Andie away from the void of space. Perhaps Werner Herzog shouldn’t have saved him after all…

4. Kathryn

Kathryn doesn’t really start off great in SPACECAMP as, on day one, she pilots a biplane with her dad while all the other folks pulling up in cars and buses. Is it a baller move? Yes. Will it win her any friends? No. Read the room, Kathryn.

She is clearly one of the most capable crew members of Atlantis, but she also has that weird hesitancy to make big decisions, can’t believe that Tish is anything more than a vapid mallrat, and refuses to have faith in Rudy. Kathryn appears to be modeled after Maverick from TOP GUN, talented but doesn’t play well with others. But at least Maverick sang a Righteous Brothers song and could chillax on the volleyball court.

3. Kevin

What is it with the ‘80s and supposedly cool guys unironically wearing Hawaiian shirts? Kilmer, Harmon, Astin, and Tate Donovan as Kevin here all are signified as cool by dressing like Big Kahuna or something. Yes, Kevin is probably the least technically skilled and proficient of the Atlantis team. But dammit, he’s the heart of this ragtag SPACECAMP crew! He finds ways to encourage and engage with each member of his squad, communicating on their level while giving off strong “substitute teacher that puts on a video while nursing a hangover” vibes. Also bonus points that his first lines in the film are catcalling Andie by saying she’s got “great boosters”. Spud McKenzie strikes again!

2. Rudy

Quick aside—more respect needs to be put on Larry B. Scott’s name. Dude was in REVENGE OF THE NERDS (1 AND 2), KARATE KID, Super Force, IRON EAGLE, FEAR OF A BLACK HAT, and more. Give him his due!

Rudy is great because he works hard to follow his passion of science. He only gets aggressive when others try to undermine him, having a great moment where he asserts himself over the unnecessarily domineering Kathryn in order to get oxygen to the shuttle. He has the best intro with genuinely solid jokes, is a team player, wants to open up an interstellar fast food joint someday, and he’s responsible for the following scene that’s been in my head verbatim for the past 34 years:

1. Tish

Tish is legitimately the most capable Atlantis crew member and most well-rounded person in the bunch. Maybe in all of SPACECAMP. She can remember anything she’s read—pretty useful talent for, say, an astronaut that needs to pull from multiple disciplines to navigate the cosmos. She figures out how to communicate with NASA using old timey means. She’s never a dick to anyone, has dreams of improving communications on an interplanetary scale, and never lets everyone underestimating her based on her style ever deter her from expressing herself. Tish should’ve been shuttle commander. She perfectly executes her role all while serving up looks flawlessly throughout the entire goddamn film. To Tish!