ArmaGettin’ It On
Kaiju attacks are big burly Apocalypses visited upon cities and unsuspecting people. They find themselves facing doomsday and the high probability of not making it out. And as we all now know, living on the edge of annihilation is a ridiculously powerful aphrodisiac.
Previously, watching films where folks were on the eve of devastation and yet also sexually charged seemed illogical and a plot contrivance. A killer is stalking the campgrounds with death lurking around every corner, and yet the frisky counselors find time to get to gettin’ down. Then the pandemic hit and everyone was horny on main; the isolated and bleak outlook seemed to charge the intensity for fucking.
And so, with that in mind, I compiled a soundtrack for that special evening: a kaiju is destroying a city and two people decide, amidst all the chaos and terror, to have a night of romantic consummation. Light the candles, lay the sheets, turn down the lights, and turn up the music…
1. “We’ve Got Tonight” by Kenny Rogers, Sheena Easton
The couple recognizes that this may be it. They’re both lonely, they’re not sure what tomorrow may bring (if there is a tomorrow) so why not have a roll in the hay? Go out in style as the buildings fall about them?
2. “I Melt With You” by Modern English
Imperative to include this song about romance amidst nuclear holocaust. There’s some debate about whether Modern English actually meant for the tune to actually be about a couple embracing and making out as an A-Bomb goes off—fusing the lovers together in a Cronenbergian creation of mutating romance.
3. “Erotic City” by Prince
This is the fun/funny moment where it detaches from the romantic aspect and starts being more about just some physical release and a festival of the flesh. We can fuck until the dawn; we can fuck until the dawn.
4. “Come Here” by Heather Christian
I’m guessing that most people may not be familiar with THE CRAFT: LEGACY. Heather Christian’s music from the soundtrack is a seductive siren song that beckons lovers towards the bed to become entwined in the sheets and each other.
5. “I Get Lonely” by Janet Jackson
Why is this tryst happening? Why has the tension been increasing? Loneliness has been exacerbated by the calamitous probability of their obliteration. Jackson’s plaintive song bemoans her single existence and what it will take to solve such a horny quandary.
6. “Sex - I’m A” by Lovage
It’s Lovage. Covering Berlin’s dialectic song about prostitution and sexual fantasies. It’s gotta be a part of this mixtape.
7. “Out In The Open (Notwist Remix)” by Themselves
Perhaps because of its beat, the vocal mix that enchants while filtered through eerie distortion…I don’t know what it is but this song always conjures images of a sort of enigmatic coitus, a session filled with passion and surrounded by dark.
8. “Passenger” by Deftones
The couple doesn’t care who seems them—this booty call is done with abandon; shame has no place in a city that will be rubble by sunrise.
9. “Untitled (How Does It Feel)” by D’Angelo
The intensity of the moment—sensuality, danger, and fear mixing to make everything more intimate than assumed earlier. They may be catching feelings or perhaps just thinking of a future that may never arrive.
10. “Love It If We Made It” by The 1975
As the lovemaking climaxes a wistfulness falls over the pair. In a different world, maybe they could have had many more days of romance and companionship. They hope this isn’t the last night, that the city is still standing even after the monster has rampaged and left so much destruction and grief in its wake. They hope to survive and get to explore many more tomorrows, together or separately.
11. “Both Hands (Live)” by Ani DiFranco
Lying next to each other, minds drifting to the world outside of the bed. Loved ones they have lost, faces they will never see again, a world unmade by the unstoppable behemoth. So they simply hold each other, trace their fingers along each other’s bodies, and find comfort simply in the proximity of another person. Maybe this isn’t their soulmate, but feeling the warmth of skin pressed against them and feeling the beat of another’s heart provides comfort in a world consumed by fire and loss.
12. “The Morning After (Single Version” by Maureen McGovern
The single written for THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE is a great curtain call for this night of passion. If dawn comes and brings with it a silver lining of hope, perhaps things can improve. It may be a difficult life for a while, but it is a life nonetheless. A lifetime full of new possibilities is a great product of a night infused with passionate abandon.