The Absolute Best of ‘80s KISS

My Mixtape’s A Masterpiece is a weekly feature in which a guest compiles a playlist around some theme. This week, Rich Love curated 13 songs that represent maximum karnage of KISS in the ‘80s.

First off, before we get into this let me tell you that you’re right, KISS was at their best in the ‘70s, or even into the early ‘80s as long as you’re pretty much only focused on 1982’s last album in makeup Creatures Of The Night. Everyone knows that post-makeup KISS isn’t the total apex of the band, and certainly isn’t the era of the band the cool kids focus on.

That said, KISS still fucking ruled and put out a lot of great material between their albums Lick It Up (in 1984) and Revenge (in 1992). When people look back on KISS' run of non-makeup albums in the ‘80s, they tend to make fun of it and act like the rockstars were total failures. Not only did they do decent business and kept themselves relevant, but I’d go so far as to argue that KISS wasn’t merely the best rock band of the ‘70s—but the best band of the ‘80s, too.*

KISS wrote more great ‘80s hard rock songs than anyone else over that time period, even if Mötley Crüe and Bon Jovi were selling more records at the time. Now some of the songs are utterly ridiculous, but KISS had already perfected the great stupid rock and roll song back in the ‘70s and the songs in this mix remain are rocking, catchy and fun. Which is what rock and roll is supposed to be!

 So let’s enjoy some classic ‘80s KISS on this fine Labor Day Weekend.

1. “Hide Your Heart” (from Hot In The Shade)

If by some chance you don’t know who Desmond Child is, he’s pretty much the great American pop songwriter of the last 40 years. After getting his start co-writing disco KISS tunes with Paul Stanley in the late ‘70s, he went on to write #1 hits for everyone from Bon Jovi to Katy Perry to Ricky Martin. You've never gone to a wedding without hearing at least half a dozen songs he wrote. I recently saw an interview with him, and he was asked which of the songs he wrote was his favorite and without hesitation he said, "Hide Your Heart"—even though it's not close to one of his most popular songs. This totally makes sense because this is a fantastic tune, truly as good as any of KISS’ all-time classics, even if they rarely play it live. 

2. “Let’s Put The X In Sex” (from Smashes, Thrashes & Hits)

Quite possibly the most gloriously ridiculous horny rock song of all-time. The audacity it took for Paul Stanley to pitch such an historically bonerheaded (I'm claiming that's a word) song and somehow get a major record company to not only let him record it, but actually make a video (that got major airplay on MTV) for it, is part of the reason he's the greatest rock star there's ever been. It’s impossible to be in a bad mood when you hear this song. In a more just world, the Trump Presidency would never have happened, and "Let's Put The X In Sex" would be the American National Anthem. 

3. "Who Wants To Be Lonely?" (from Asylum)

I was debating between this and "Tears Are Falling" (which was the bigger hit from Asylum, and a fantastic song as well). I went with this one because it has a much better groove to it, Paul's vocals are as good as they've ever been, and it really is a forgotten gem. They made a video for it, the song was a minor hit, and that was pretty much it.

4. "A Million To One" (from Lick It Up)

Paul Stanley has written a bunch of songs with his heart on his sleeve about relationships that didn’t work out over the years and there's no doubt a lot of them are really fucking great. But they always seem a bit unbelievable to me, because you know, he’s Paul Stanley from KISS and what woman wouldn’t be over the moon about being with him?* I’d argue this is probably the best of the ‘80s versions of this genre of songs he wrote—even if "Forever" and "Reason To Live" were much bigger hits. This one seems truest to the ultra-confident Starchild I’d like to think he is, telling a woman who’s just dumped him and is walking out the door that the chance of finding someone else who’s better than him is "A Million To One.”

5. "Domino" (from Revenge)

Not to spoil anything for you, but there’s not going to be a lot of Gene Simmons on this playlist. He wrote some real bangers on Lick It Up and Revenge, but he basically phoned it in on the 4 albums in between. He was too busy producing crap bands like Keel and being a hammy action movie villain to focus on his day job. But when he did try, he was still capable of writing a great ZZ Top-style sleazy hard rock song like “Domino”. Just too bad he didn't try a little more often.

6. "Turn On The Night" (from Crazy Nights)

Crazy Nights is one of the more divisive KISS albums and, to be honest, one of my least favorites. By the late ‘80s KISS’ popularity had mostly returned, but they were still a notch below the real A-list bands like Def Leppard. Understandably, it had to get under their skin a bit to be second fiddle to bands they obviously inspired. So, they recruited producer Ron Nevison (who previously worked with Ozzy and Heart) and made a really slick record to compete with Bon Jovi. The results are a mixed bag at best, but this song is one of the best pop rock songs of the decade, and really should have been a bigger hit.

7. "Lick It Up" (from Lick It Up)

The start of the KISS ‘80s metal rebranding and quite possibly the perfect hair metal song. There's almost a Ramones-ish simplicity to it, and it's got the hooks and the swagger to make it work. Truth be told if you’re writing a rock and roll song about getting it on—and that is what the best rock and roll songs are about—there may never be a better opening line to a song than “I don’t wanna wait ‘til you know me better.”

8. "King Of Hearts" (from Hot In The Shade)

Anyone who's really into a band (as I am with KISS) has a few obscure songs that they love but no one else seems to be into. "King Of Hearts" is one of those songs for me. Paul is trying to write another ‘70s-style KISS song and he just kills it. Maybe it's because this song is tucked away towards the back of an album that has too many songs on it, but this is one of their songs that totally deserves more attention.

9. "Uh! All Night" (from Asylum)

I've read over the years that Paul kind of cringes when people bring up the really over the top, utterly cheeseball songs like "Let's Put The X In Sex" and this one. But he shouldn’t because these songs are so much fun! In a decade of over the top, silly cock rock songs, the true kings of rock wrote the most ridiculous ones. And I can't imagine a more ridiculously fun song than “Uh! All Night”.

10. "I Just Wanna" (from Revenge)

The only thing cooler than writing a song with lots of swearing in it (which, if you know me and my band, I've done a lot over the years) is writing a song that sounds like you're swearing when you're not, and then having that song get a shitload of airplay on rock radio.

11. "Not For The Innocent" (from Lick It Up)

I wanted another Gene Simmons song and this is one of my favorites. Kind of a dark jam, featuring one of Gene's better vocals and a somewhat tasteless guitar solo by Vinnie Vincent. Always wondered what could’ve been had Vinnie not been such a historically weird dude and held on to the KISS gig a little longer.

12. "Read My Body" (from Hot In The Shade)

Kind of a deep cut here. Paul Stanley is the G.O.A.T. of the dumb, horny rock and roll songwriters — and “Read My Body” is absolutely one of the best. Not only is this probably the funkiest KISS ever got, but it also features Paul Stanley breaking in to some almost Tone Loc-esque rapping at one point. Sure, it's basically a funkier version of Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" just sung by Paul Stanley. But how is that not awesome?

13. "Heaven’s On Fire" (from Animalize)

I'll be honest: I originally wasn't going to put this on there because this was the biggest hit they had in the ‘80s and it seemed too obvious. But this is just such a perfect rock and roll song. There's a reason why this song is one of the few post-makeup songs that always makes it onto live sets at their concerts these days. 

*Editor’s Note: Citation Needed. - R.D.