I Want To Play A Game (Part 2)

Here’s part two of my list of SAW traps—ranked from most boring and phoned in to most horrifying and coolest, and whether or not I could beat them. Read Part One here.

57 The Electric Bathtub

SAW V (2008)

HOW IT WORKS: A bathtub sits in the center of the room surrounded by five wires that need to be used to close the circuit and open the door. If all five players were still alive, they’d each need to hold one wire and place a limb in the water, receiving a small shock to open the door and escape.

COULD I BEAT IT?: Yes. God, these people are so terrible. The trap is designed for everyone to get a wee jolt and move on, so yeah, I could handle that.

56 The Magnum Eyehole

SAW II (2005)

HOW IT WORKS: A magnum revolver rigged to go off through the eyehole of a door if it unlocked manually rather than waiting out the timer for it to unlock itself.

COULD I BEAT IT?: Yes. Not only am I following all the directions in a saw trap to the letter and not using the key like I was told, but I’ve seen OPERA—I’m not using a peephole no matter what.

55 Exploding Billy

SAW IV (2007)

HOW IT WORKS: Billy the puppet is left in a room to deliver a message to one of the Special Agents on the case. If she gets too close to it, it’s head will explode sending shrapnel into her face.

COULD I BEAT IT?: Yes. I'd never get that close to that fancy little man, he's cute but I don't trust him.

54 The Gallows

SAW VI (2009)

HOW IT WORKS: Just like it sounds, two people are held with nooses around their necks on platforms waiting to fall to their deaths. The issue is that they aren’t in control of the trap and have no way to escape it, it’s all up to a third party.

COULD I BEAT IT?: No. There’s no winning this one. You can’t save yourself and the person helping you can only save one of you.

53 The Antidote Safe Room

SAW II (2005)

HOW IT WORKS: The room the seven victims woke up in contained a large safe with one of the antidotes inside. The numbers to the combination are written on the back of their necks in different colors and when entered in the order of the rainbow would unlock the safe.

COULD I BEAT IT?: Yes. If I figured it out, instead of just killing everyone to get their numbers like a psychopath, I’d simply ask them to show me. Teamwork makes the dream work, after all.

52 The Shotgun Carousel

SAW VI (2009)

HOW IT WORKS: Most people’s favorite trap, the Shotgun Carousel consists of six people with their backs facing the bars of a merry-go-round. The merry-go-round stops spinning every so often with one of the people now staring down the barrel of a shotgun. The person being tested is tasked with pressing buttons and having their hands punctured to make the shotgun shoot upward rather than at a person. Unfortunately, they can only choose two of the people in the trap to save.

COULD I BEAT IT?: No. This one’s unwinnable. You can only save two of the six people in the carousel, so it’s really a matter of choosing. I would definitely save Melanie Scrofano though.

51 The Furnace

SAW II (2005)

HOW IT WORKS: Literally just a furnace you have to crawl inside. Once both antidotes are grabbed from within, the door shuts and it turns on.

COULD I BEAT IT?: No. I am so debilitatingly terrified of fire that I never would’ve spotted the shut off valve. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have gotten in the thing to begin with, just shoot me.

50 The Razor Wire Maze

SAW (2004)

HOW IT WORKS: Exactly what it sounds like. A man is stripped to his underwear and forced to complete a maze made of razor wire in two hours before the exit is sealed.

COULD I BEAT IT?: Yes. I love mazes. I’m clumsy, so I’m sure I’d cut myself up a fair bit, but the downfall of Paul, who was in the trap, was panicking and moving around erratically. Staying calm is key here.

49 The Drill Chair

SAW (2004)

HOW IT WORKS: The victim is strapped to the chair with his head held in place by a metal shackle around his neck with a power drill on either side of him. Once triggered, the victim has 20 seconds to escape before being pierced with the drills.

COULD I BEAT IT?: No. The victim isn’t given any kind of explanation of what he needs to do to escape this trap before Detectives Tapp and Sing break in and Jigsaw starts it to distract them, so I have no idea what I’d even need to do. I’d just die about it, I guess.

48 Marcus Banks’ Test

SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW (2021)

HOW IT WORKS: The person in the trap is hooked up to IVs that slowly drain them of their blood unless a target above their head is hit. The problem is that the door to the room has wires running across it that when cut raise the victim back into position and triggers a shotgun to raise from their arm and aim itself at whoever comes through the door.

COULD I BEAT IT?: No. Despite the fact that I’d have hit the target as soon as I learned it was how to get my parent down and I’d 100% say yes to working with this guy (ACAB), it is basically rigged to be unwinnable in the end with the way the wires hooked up to the door work.

47 10 Pints of Sacrifice

SAW V (2008)

HOW IT WORKS: A large box with five holes (for all five players, come on guys!) to place their arms in sits in the center of the room. In the holes are spinning saw blades that they need to put their hands on to fill a glass beaker under the box with 10 pints of blood. With all five people, the blood loss wouldn’t have been nearly as monumental.

COULD I BEAT IT?: Yes. Assuming I hadn’t taken out everyone else in the game with me like a real asshole so I'd have more help. Either way, I'd be fine with cutting my hand if it meant I got to survive.

46 The Bucket Room

JIGSAW (2017)

HOW IT WORKS: Chains wrapped around their necks and with buckets on their heads, five people are told that they need to sacrifice some blood to be released, even if it’s only a tiny bit.

COULD I BEAT IT?: Yes. They barely even had to bleed for this.

45 The Neck Tie Trap

SAW V (2008)

HOW IT WORKS: Five people are chained to a wall by their necks. Behind them are large v-shaped blades that will decapitate them if they don’t unlock their chains in time. Across the room are five boxes with keys in them. The chains are all connected by a wire so if one person goes across the room to retrieve their key, the other four are pulled closer to the wall.

COULD I BEAT IT?: Yes. They aren't aware that all the keys and locks are identical, so I guess I wouldn't be either. But I wanna live; so fuck them, I'm grabbing a key.