Welcome to Season’s Beatings

A Month-Long Celebration Of Holiday-Themed (Or Simply Holiday-Adjacent) Action

Welcome one and all to the inaugural Season’s Beatings, Neon Splatter’s theme for 2021’s holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, New Year’s Eve, Winter Solstice, or none of the above, all are welcome and we will try to cater to all of these special occasions that crowd up December like fat guys in an elevator.

But what is Season’s Beatings you may ask? Probably not because you’ve either heard me talk about it or know me or simply watched the video above. But if you ended up by some horrific glitch in a mysterious algorithm, then know that #SeasonsBeatings is all about action. It’s basically “what if Shane Black took over a section of the video store for a month?” There will be fighting, and shooting, and explosions, and high kicks, and car chases, and explosions, and quips, and rockets, and explosions, and knives, and swords, and motorcycles, and explosions, and stubble, and sunglasses, and the vague smell of Brut cologne wafting from your browser. All this and explosions, too!

Every day there will be a particular title featured and discussed by a bevy—yes, a whole bevy—of writers. There’s some returning champions and some new players entering the scene, but all are incredibly talented and here to discuss why the holidays are the perfect time for people to beat the shit out of each other for our entertainment. There will also be mixtapes, comic book dissections, lists, videos, new definitions, quotes, shorts, and so much more.

So buckle up, buttercup, and be glad I didn’t go with my original title “Merry Fistmas” (it became obvious very quickly how problematic that was). Follow along on Twitter and on Instagram with #SeasonsBeatings; tell your friends; tell the local savings & loan; tell that miserly old rich man; TELL THE WORLD. And join us in enjoying the hard hitting holidays with Season’s Beatings.