10 Of The Best (And 2 Of The Worst) Movie Santas Of All Time
'Tis the season...of lists. Everywhere you look this time of year, there's a list for virtually everything. As long as it's related to Christmas, that is. Best Christmas foods. Best Christmas song. Best Christmas movie or TV special. Yet what about the man at the center of it all? No, not that one. The OTHER one. The big jolly figurehead for which the holiday would be much emptied without.
Santa Claus.
Now, grouping together Santas should be a no-brainer. There's a handful that stand out as "the best of the best". As well a numerous lists that merely want to scratch the surface level. So, it was necessary to dig a little deeper. Spice things up and cast a light on the best and strangest cinematic Santas imaginable. Some of the titles here may come as a surprise—in that a lot of people may never heard of or completely forgotten about a few of the performances (or films) contained within. As an added plus (as of publishing, since streaming is a dicey world) a large majority of the films here are available to stream. Hope this adds a final stocking stuffer for the holiday season.
Overall Handsdown Worst Santa in Cinema:
Tim Allen as Toy Santa in THE SANTA CLAUSE 2 (2002)
If you ask a large group of people, they'll probably slate THE SANTA CLAUSE (1994) as one of the top 5 Christmas movies. It's just become something of a classic at this point. The second film, however? There's a good chance they didn't know it was made. Which is probably for the best. Partially because it's centered around a weird stipulation wherein Santa has to find a wife within "X" amount of days or he loses his powers (and only succeeds due to emotional manipulation), resulting in him keeping away from the North Pole, right before Christmas. His absence is covered up by a Toy Santa and is one of the most disturbing sights in all of filmdom.
Clad in his Santa gear, along with a headpiece and make up that gives him a plastic sheen, Allen is nightmare fuel for kids and adult alike. Every time he appears on screen is haunting. Further brought on by the villanous nature he develops, charging all kids as "naughty" due to technicalities. Then, just to make things weirder, he raises an army of life-sized toy soldiers to abuse and terrorize Santa's elves, while branding himself a dictator (complete with military garb). You know, your typical family friendly Disney fare that doesn't scar children in the slightest.
(Currently streaming on Disney+)
Best Creepy Santa:
Patrick Floersheim as Le Pere Noel in DIAL CODE SANTA CLAUS (1989)
There are many different ways this one could go with this entry, though most of them lean towards the supernatural. No, that's too easy. The creepiest Santa Claus is the most grounded one imaginable. A Santa that is merely flesh and blood, yet seems unstoppable nevertheless? That's the terrifying space that occupies in DIAL CODE SANTA CLAUS. Transforming from a well-meaning (albeit jovially creepy) homeless man to a way-too-serious Mall Santa to a seemingly unkillable Jolly Saint Nick traumatizing one child, this may just be the quintessential Santa performance most don't know they need in their life.
That above statement isn't hyperbolic, since being remastered and re-released a few years back by Vinegar Syndrome, it's quickly becoming a holiday staple. A large portion of of that has to do with Floersheim's hulking presence, along with his character's frame of mind. There's no arguing that he's delusional and a menace. Yet, watch the film from the P.O.V. of someone who thinks they're giving a small child the greatest gift, playing with Santa and his actions take on a slightly different light. A totally insane and terrifying light, absolutely, but how Floersheim plays it just adds to the unrelenting tension. It's also an element that helps to recommend this film to those who may be wanting a darker and wilder take on HOME ALONE, which this came out before, overseas.
(Currently streaming on Shudder)
Best "Regional" Take On Santa:
Huub Stapel as St. Niklas in SINT (2020)
With a name like Dick Maas, there was no way the Dutch filmmaker's 2010 supernatural horror flick was missing the list. Working both as a spoof and an original take on the holiday season, SINT goes for broke when going for blood and laughs. This isn’t your typical Santa Claus, as St. Nicholas is one bad mother (actually a bishop), leaping from rooftops with a reindeer, slicing up people with his giant staff or even having a massive wooden ship at his disposal.
There’s something morbidly wonderful about a somewhat demonic zombie Santa (due to a full moon, of course) prowling around town. Not to mention the fact that being a Bishop means his garb is different from the average St. Nick. As much cheap fun as the film is filled with, there are a couple detractors that age the film a bit, namely that two characters spend a portion of the film in blackface. Yes, it’s a part of history tied to Sinterklass and yes The Office (US) featured an episode depicting Black Pete (which has now been removed), but that doesn’t remove it from the film, so it’s worth noting should you go into this film blind. If you are able to put that filter on, you'll be met with a very goofy and gore-filled holiday cult classic.
(Currently streaming on IFC/AMC+)
Best "Commercial Ready" Version of Santa You May Have Forgotten About:
David Huddleston Santa Claus in SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE (1985)
When you imagine Santa in your mind, the perfect Santa Claus to lead any commercial, you usually picture someone that would fit in a Coke ad. So then it works well enough that there is indeed a feature length film that doubles as a giant ad for both McDonald’s and that soda company.
And yet, the film itself is a totally insane concoction of superhero mythos (it's produced by Ilya Salkind, who made SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE), "aw-shucks" holiday sentimentality, and a weird streak that comes off as decidedly gonzo.
At the center of it all stands David Huddleston (the BIG Lebowski, to most) with a genial smile and look that just screams Christmas. It's magical how much sincere demeanor can define a Santa performance, but that's exactly what happens here. Everything that surrounds him may seem completely unhinged yet Huddleston maintains his composure. His Santa is extraordinarily kind, searching for the good in every child. In the process he manages to leave the most memorable impression on this list. A perfect example of finding a gem in a steaming pile of crap.
(Currently streaming on Peacock)
Best/Weirdest Celebrity Stunt Casting Santa:
Paul Giamatti as Santa Claus in FRED CLAUS (2007)
In the pantheon of holiday dreck, FRED CLAUS manages to skate by largely unblemished. Mostly because people have forgotten about it. Or FOUR CHRISTMASES is in such close proximity when it comes to accounting for Vince Vaughn's various sins. FRED CLAUS doesn't really have a lot going for it and if its remembered for something, its nothing good. For some the tiny CGI celebrity faces on the elves stand out. For others its the slick sheen of meanness that runs through the film (although this is the one staple of Christmas films most gloss over). The astute viewer though would clue into the strange, yet fascinating, casting of none other than Paul Giamatti as Jolly Old Saint Nick. Who just so happens to be Fred’s brother.
Placing Giamatti in such an important role, as such an iconic presence may be smart commentary by the writers. Having a sardonic and somewhat curmudgeonly Santa facing pressure from corporate auditors and wondering what the point of what he's doing is a unique route. Or they could have thought he'd be perfect to continually do pratfalls. Who's to say. Regardless of the answer Giamatti commits to the bit more than anyone else in the cast. You feel sympathize with his pressures and are ok with him shouting down Fred, whom he weirdly loves dearly. Don't be confused, the movie is an utter mess that comes off more fever dream, than festive good time, yet Giamatti is worth investing in. Should you be forced to watch the movie, that is.
(Currently streaming on HBO Max)
Best Homicidal Santa:
Robert Brian Wilson as Billy in SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984)
It's the film that launched a thousand parent protests and four sequels and become synonymous with "Christmas Horror Classics". The simple gutteral utterance of "Punish!" can bring a smile to the face of most fans of schlock instantaneously. Billy is essentially the poster child for killer Santas. Armed with a fire axe, a penchant for theatrics (if you count unbridled rage to be theatrical) and a desire to destroy anything in his path, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT has continued to find new converts year in and year out.
What might get lost in all the controversy surrounding the film, is just how mean and sleazy it comes off. There's a layer of filth and grime that covers the film, both in terms of actual aesthetics and character, that helps it be rooted in the early '80s. Billy himself may not have much of a personality, though that rarely factors in when it comes to matters of merry mayhem. Department store employees, old folks and nuns (not to mention a slew of other people) find themselves on the receiving end of something worse to coal. Namely, the loss of their loves. When it comes to the holiday season, there's not much worse you could have happen.
(Currently streaming on Tubi)
Worst Mall Santa (From A Movie You've PROBABLY Never Heard Of):
Dan Haggerty as in ELVES (1989)
Any genre film junkie knows, the greatest thrill of all is turning people onto a film they may have never heard of or seen. For most people, ELVES is that film. It pops up sporadically on only the lost niche lists of Christmas movies past. Outside of out-of-print VHS tapes, you can find this one in the deep recesses of YouTube. One of the best "so bad it's good" films of its kind, its put over the top because of Dan "Grizzly Adams" Haggerty. Ostensibly the hero of the piece, his Mike McGavin is as ineffective as they come.
A former cop and now former security guard, McGavin find himself taking on the role of Mall Santa to make ends meet, after being evicted from his trailer. Unfortunately, that puts him in the path of a demonic and minuscule elf who may be a demon or the product of a Nazi eugenics plot. McGavin comes off as half-in-the-bag for a large majority of the film, never taking his Santa gig, or helping thwart the end of the world, seriously. He's the kind of guy who busts into a house on Christmas Eve, demanding information on Elves, without any questions to ask. Which actually makes him perfect for a film that largely has no idea what's going on at any given moment. If ever there was a film that deserves to be restored and put out by a boutique video outfit, ELVES would be it.
(Currently found on YouTube)
Best Animated Santa:
Jim Broadbent as Malcom "Santa" Claus in ARTHUR CHRISTMAS (2011)
Leave it to the fine folks at Aardman (the studio behind WALLACE & GROMIT and SHAUN THE SHEEP) to put together an absolutely delightful (and well thought out) Christmas treat. In their hands the entire Santa gig is one that's passed down generation to generation by one family. Here the reigning Santa (real name Malcolm) might be celebrating his 70th mission, but his two sons wait in the wings to see who gets the coveted spot next. Though they get the main focus in the story, Jim Broadbent's Santa is ever present. Wondering through several scenes, it's hard not to smile whenever he pops up.
Broadbent's Malcolm may be getting on in his years, but there's an enthusiasm in his work that's infectious. Compared to the average animated Santa, who seem to all be hulking in stature with a glorious mane, Malcom is more realistic. Sporting a sizable belly (filled with mince meat pies, rather than jelly), short hair and a cropped beard, he gives the impression of a sweet grandfather. It's a nice representation that never feels showy. Instead imagining a Santa who -even as technology makes his job smaller and smaller- likes playing a part in people's loves. Adding to what makes it all special, and earning it the "best" spot, is that this film features multiple Santas. Besides Broadbent, Bill Nighy brings his distinct vocal ticks to GrandSanta. Representing the "old school" which included actual reindeer, GrandSanta's antics help liven up the later portion of the ARTHUR CHRISTMAS. Something none of the Bass and Rankin specials can say they have. Point Aardman.
(Currently streaming on ABC/Freeform Apps)
Best Pure Badass Santa:
George Buza as Santa in A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY (2015)
The most amazing thing about the holiday season is the ridiculous wealth of Christmas movies out there. There's a feature for every genre, in every format and for almost everyone. One area that doesn't seem to have been mined as much is the action Santa department. It's but one element that's helped make A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY something of a cult classic, over the years.
Throughout the twisty mini-anthology, Buza's Santa has to deal with an infected elf invasion on Christmas Eve. This Santa isn't a pushover though, using his staff and numerous other implements to carve a path through the North Pole. Spilling a lot of green blood along the way. Not to mention he gets to square of in the main centerpiece battle against an albino Krampus. If that's not something that lets you walk away with this title, then what's the point? Numerous Christmas horror vehicles tend to focus on just the killer Santas. A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY offers up a Santa, who were he allowed out on the streets, would make the holiday a little less ho-ho-homicidal.
(Currently streaming on Shudder)
Best Blink-And-You'll-Miss-It Santa Cameo:
Peter Jackson as Father Christmas in HOT FUZZ (2007)
Christmas movies are only as good as their cameos. If you don't believe this, then you've never seen a Christmas film from the last 30 years. By now it's just a fact of life. So naturally, only the best of the best are the ones that can stick in the mind. Or at least the moments that get passed down over the years as it concerns trivia. To the point where everyone becomes Rick Dalton when the director of LORD OF THE RINGS, THE FRIGHTENERS, and MEET THE FEEBLES pops up in the briefest of moments stabs a switchblade into Simon Pegg's hand, within the first 5 minutes of HOT FUZZ.
Are there more substantial options for this spot? Yes, undoubtedly. If you've been following along though, this is the most logical and sensible decision imaginable here. It also technically allows this one to take on "Christmas movie" status by mere bullshit happenstance (after all, this is a masterpiece). You're welcome.
(Currently available to rent from most digital hubs)
Best Santa With Muscles:
Bill Goldberg in SANTA'S SLAY (2005)
Given the title here, you may have been expecting the 1993 Hulk Hogan holiday vehicle. The only reason you'd feel that way is either you're blinded by nostalgia or you've never seen SANTA'S SLAY. Goldberg slices, Rice's, suplexes, speaker and lays all kinds of waste to the kind folk who make up this film. Including an opening section that features the likes of James Caan, Rebecca Gayheart, and Christ Kattan.
Goldberg manages to cut both an imposing figure and provide fine comedic choices that match the film's rather sardonic tone. The last bit is part of the reason this one hasn't found its spot on every Christmas list imaginable yet. An over-the-top sense of humor isn't what you're rightly expecting when a murderous Santa is on the loose. Leaning into the humor is actually what helps this version stand out. The majority of other films dealing with the subject can be a tad on the darker side and believe that's the only thing to make is stand out. Give into the silly notion and give SANTA'S SLAY a chance or Goldberg will Jackhammer you into submission.
(Currently streaming on Peacock)
Best Sad Santa Claus (In A Manner That Might Crush Your Soul):
Douglas Seale as Seth Applegate in ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS (1988)
As strange or disturbing as it may sound, this is the find of the list. When you hear "an Ernest movie" you aren't thinking of tact or anything serious for that matter. This film though has one major unexpected trick up its sleeve, that plays out in a surprisingly moving (or depressing) fashion. Much like ARTHUR CHRISTMAS above, the world of ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS operates on a cycle wherein Santas are appointed. The difference here is that it's the acting Santa who chooses his replacement.
The only problem is that the current one, originally named Seth Applegate, is starting to become senile and must choose his successor very quickly.
While senility may have possibly been less disconcerting years ago, through today's lens it's heartbreaking. Furthered by the fact that, when he is all there, Applegate admits to holding on for too long (125 years).
Even as he felt things slipping away. As an adult, seeing a Santa coping with a form of dementia or Alzheimer's is devastating. It's never to the point of him doddering around or getting lost in a dangerous situation, although a tense feeling can be felt throughout. This also isn't a case where it's something not to be taken serious as Ernest, the titular character, continually disappears from the film. In the ends it's just another reminder of how strange and twisty family films used to be. Although, weird and potentially questionable story beats is exactly what the holiday movie season is all about.
(Currently streaming on Disney+)
